Grillmasters and Life Planners

Loving my Tuesday dinner dates. This week, we grilled kebabs and they were amazing. Nothing beats grilled chicken! And because I can't keep my eyes open any more, I'll keep Tuesday short and sweet. Better than Monday, better than Wednesday, so far was the best day of the week. Go Tuesday.

Hallelujah for for grilled food and summer weather.

GLS Time

Gym. Laundry. Shower. Man that makes for an exciting Monday. Actually the gym wasn't that bad, and I must say, I really do love going. Although, I'm sure I look slightly ridiculous hopping round on one foot lifting arm weights standing on one leg, but honestly, I don't mind in the least because it makes me feel incredibly accomplished. Which believe me, when you can't even carry your own coffee mug, you look for the little things to make you happy.

So today, I'm thankful for gyms, one of my most favorite places ever.

Saturday, here in the park...i think it was the fourth of July

So many things to write, too bad I'm so sleepy. Saturday was pretty great. Got out of bed at 1pm, which is something I have not done since college, and rarely did it then. After that, I spent the afternoon lounging in the park, which I much say, never before all of this ankle mess, did I plan time to just do nothing. And, I think I'm finally, maybe, in the slightest sense coming to terms with the idea that relaxing isn't awful.

Later that night I went out for the first time in 3 weeks, and let me tell you, if you ever want to meet someone just break a leg, wrist, foot, etc. I had a fair share of well-wishers, advice-givers, etc comment and some that stayed along longer than just a comment.....

So Saturday, I am thankful for parks and blankets and the lovely combination they make.

Catch-up/Ketchup

Oh man, a week behind. This is why I could never keep a journal. Anyways, since it's been ALMOST a week, I have a lot to be thankful and appreciative of. Not that this week has been all butterflies and roses, but hopefully it will get better as it approaches the weekend, or at least that's what I'm banking on. :)

Let's see Friday...oh yeah....had a lovely time catching up wit some lovely ladies at Park Tavern in the middle of a rainstorm. Not only did the power go out while we were there, but we got interviewed by the "Dating Diva," who claimed she could find us true love in 30 days. Ummm does she realize that this is real life and not a Disney movie? Plus, I don't think that it only takes 30 days to fall in love. Call me whatever you like, but I think love is a process, and no, I don't think 30 days is long enough for any process. You need your ups, downs, good laughs, good cries, monotonous times, things to celebrate, time to chill out, things to do, places to go, well you get my point. Thirty days or not, you don't fall in love with anyone until your ready and until you're in a position, first and foremost to love yourself. Yes, that was the cheesiest thing I may have ever written, but the annoying thing about cheesy sayings is that they are usually true....

So I think I need a crash course in 30 Days to loving yourself, which is probably already the title of some self-help book. But hey, nobody's perfect and after 25 years of trying to attain perfection in every aspect of my life, I've learned the harder you try, the harder you fall. So maybe I'll try cutting myself some slack here and there and see what happens.

So today, or last Friday I'm thankful for summer rainstorms, dollar drafts and love doctor logic. Because nothing is better than someone telling you how to obtain an emotion. Easy. Stop trying and just let it happen.

If only autocorrect was for life, not just texting

Oh man, well I was going to blog about how today was also so LONG!!!! Good god, I think my cast is some sort of device that slows down time. This week has been painfully long. I did, however, finally make it to the gym today, where I ran into someone who not only whined about not running an 8 minute mile today, but also asked me if I thought my ankle would ever be the same. In my new found attempt at optimism, I replied "yes." To my surprise, he replied, "yeah it's never going to be the same. You think it will, but you will always look at it differently." Thanks Mr. Sunshine, it's that kind of talk that makes me feel fabulous about this whole ordeal. He's not the only one, I've heard stories from about people who know people that now have no range of motion and still can't run a year after surgery. Thank you everyone! Why do people feel the need to tell me bad things? My mind does that enough on it's own.

Anyway, on to better things. Autocorrect texting made my night. Holy cow. See below. I almost peed my pants. So of course, today I am thankful for autocorrect..oh yeah and Adele. Nothing better than Adele to fall asleep to in crappy weather.

Love, love, love you autocorrect

Rain on my parade

Ugh. I think sleep deprivation has finally caught up with me in the form of a ravenous appetite. Yes, I'm pretty sure that every time I ate today, I actually got hungrier. This is not okay; a ravenous appetite and not working out for 6 weeks does not bode well for my summer wardrobe, or any of my clothes in general, with the exception of maybe my moo moo pool cover-ups and sweatpants. Yeah I just said moo moo, hot, I know.

In addition to eating like a dinosaur, today was the LONGEST day ever. Good grief!  How it is only Wednesday?! I definitely thought it was Thursday on no less than five occasions today. So, after getting home, I spent the rest of the evening on the couch, where I have yet to move from. And to be honest, I have never really been excited about going to bed, but tonight, I'll make an exception.

I spent most of the day, frustrated, disappointed, lost and confused. Sadly, I spent my evening there, and it looks like my night as well. Unfortunately, the rain only added to my mood, leaving me in a funk.

So for Wednesday, I am thankful for Thursday. Let's hope for a better tomorrow. (That sounds eerily familiar to a rehab affirmation)

Salsa and baby steps towards normalcy

Woohoo! Dinner date day! One thing I've learned from this injury is that it's best to take time to maintain good friendships. Yes, we do need our own time, but it's easy to get caught up in work, the gym, running errands, hanging out with significant others, laundry, chores and the humdrum of everyday life. Well laundry can wait and you can work out tomorrow, but it's always nice to make time with others, and get out of your own head for a change.

The one silver lining of all of this is getting to spend more time with friends, even if it's only a car ride to and from work.

So my dinner date on Tuesday, full of fresh Mexican salsa and mocha ice cream was one of the first steps back to some sense of normalcy. A baby step you might say.

So for Tuesday, I'm thankful for fresh Mexican salsa and dinner dates and baby steps toward normalcy.

Woohoo! Work!

Most people love time off work, me, on the other hand, could not have been more excited. While it was probably necessary, a week on the couch is enough to drive anyone to start questioning their sanity. And questioning I was....

Not going to lie, I was actually a little anxious about returning to work. Having been out for a total of six days, I felt like I had no idea what was going on and that I was behind on whatever I was supposed to be doing.

Anyways, long story short, it wasn't THAT bad. After repeating the story at least 20 times about how the injury was completely my fault and the result of a really stupid misstep. Ugh. Go me.

The worst part was getting comfortable, and I want to thank everybody that helped move chairs, carried bean bags, and brought me a lap desk. And....thanks to everyone for cleaning up the folders and broken glass...yeah that's right, first hour back and I shatter a glass. Classic.

So for Monday, I am thankful for a great job and coworkers that clean up glass and carry beanbags.

Thanks Dad

In honor of Father's Day, I want to send a shout out to Daddy Z. Thanks for everything, you're the best! :)

New places, old faces

Saturday was probably the best day since surgery. I felt semi-normal, finally back in my own apartment and removed from my parent's ever-so-comfy couch. I realized the only way to stay sane throughout all of this was to keep myself as busy and occupied as possible, even if I didn't really feel up to it. Which to be honest, I wasn't feeling so hot.

But a trip to Target for some essentials, a visit to a friend's and some of the most amazing seafood tacos were the perfect distraction. It days like Saturday that make this whole process tolerable, and makes six weeks seem like somewhat of a smaller mountain to climb.

So Saturday, I'm thankful for amazing Mexican food and a "friend" that was willing to give up their day to drive me around. So here's to good cooks and great friends.

Thanks for cheering me up friend! :)

A little behind, a little ahead

Yes, it's week one and I already gave up on posting daily. On a positive note though, it's because I was keeping myself relatively busy and didn't have the time..well sorta. So while I may be behind on that, it's because I'm trying to get ahead on get on with life as usual. Well as usual as it can get with this mini igloo cast on my leg. Which, before I move on, I just want to give a shout out to all the people that have to deal with a handicap on a daily basis. Never once do we take time to be thankful that when we wake up everyone morning we can get out of bed and walk about the house freely, walk to the kitchen a carry a cup of coffee, run in the park, walk up the stairs, well you get my point. I mean yes, I may complain about how this cast weighs a ton, but at the same time I saw a man at Publix, who was in a wheelchair, load all of his own groceries in his car, lift himself into the car from his wheelchair, and then continue to remove the wheels and the frame and load them into his passenger seat. Needless to say, I was quite impressed.

So on Friday, yes I'm "back-posting," I was thankful for a mini reality check..and Kashi Chicken Florentine frozen meals...since I had no desire to hobble around the kitchen and actually bother making dinner. :)

Growing to hate the couch

So today is an early morning post, or semi-early, as I've been up for three hours. Believe me, laying on the couch does not equate to sleeping on the couch. In fact, I've slept less this week than I think I ever have. I didn't even sleep the day of the surgery. Anyways, I'm hoping and praying this is my last day of having to sit on the couch in this gorgeous weather. It doesn't help that the room I'm in is almost entirely full of huge windows! Anyways, I'm not feeling so hot today, most likely because I've tapered off the pain killers, so today will probably involve reading and hopefully some sleeping.

Also, just happened to come across this article that talks about the procedure I had. Supposedly, it shortens the recovery time in contrast to putting a screw in. I was very happy to hear from the doctor that they were able to go with the tightrope option instead. :)

Article

So today, I'm thankful for tightropes. :)

Learning to Drive

Well Tuesday was not fun, yet Wednesday managed to up the ante and out-do Tuesday! However, there were definitely some highlights, one of which completely turned my mood around, because believe me, after going on three days without stepping outside, I'm well on my way to losing my marbles.

Although today was no walk in the park, I was able to regain some normalcy, and yes I am using the term "normalcy" quite loosely. Took my first shower, or so-called shower today since Sinday night, gross I know, but when showers are this much of a hassle you get used to it...or I hope so at least. Overall, it wasn't bad, except for the skin I lost when my mom ripped off the duct tape holding the garbage bag on my leg, in place.

So besides just feeling fresh, I got some fresh reading material in the mail! I got a care package from a very wonderful person that I am slowly realizing how much I miss. Now equipped with the the last two books in the "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo: series, a crossword puzzle book (yay)  and a Sudoku book, I had an ample sized army to fight boredom. However, the nicest surprise was the bag of crystallized ginger, which a) I had no idea Amazon sold and b) I am surprised they sell it because I think I am the only person in the continental US that eats it.


Lastly, after contemplating my sanity and the toll cabin fever was taking on me, I opted for a quick trip to Target to update my wardrobe for crutch-appropriate work clothes...as if I needed an excuse. After a quick reality check that I would not be able to hobble around the store on crutches yet, I did the unthinkable and hopped in one of the motorized carts, which I found out to my dismay, drove slower than I walked on crutches....it was then that I became a professional cart driver. Backing up, three-point turns, avoiding columns in the aisle and children running amuck, I'm pretty sure I could have ran that sucker through an obstacle course. I even paralleled parked it when done. :)

So today I am thankful for care packages, the people that send them, and my mom, for putting up with my shopping cart driving shenanigans....

The first fall

Okay, so day one went very well. Day two was a disaster. I think the reality is setting in, and to be honest, I don't know if I'm ready for it. Pain, anxiety, you name it. It hit hard last night, and come to find out, I think that half of my new-found optimism can be attributed to the painkillers. Yeah, I had no idea that euphoria was a side effect, but I guess I should have figured seeing as how so many people are addicted to them.

Well hopefully today is the worst...chest pain, purple toes and a crampy calf is enough to send any pseudo-hypocondriac over the edge. Good riddance Tuesday.

Mumford got it right...

Weep for yourself, my man,

You'll never be what is in your heart

Weep Little Lion Man,

You're not as brave as you were at the start

Rate yourself and rake yourself,

Take all the courage you have left

Wasted on fixing all the problems

That you made in your own head

And it's yet another surpise....

And surgery came two days early...which hopefully means two days sooner until I can put both feet on the ground! Pain meds are still working wonders, and I'm hoping they continue to do so. Tomorrow is work from home time: day one of three. Thank god! I realize that one of my least favorite things is sitting on the couch with a right leg that is entirely numb, thinking about how my life has changed in a matter of a week. Not going to lie, it's a disaster in the short run, but hopefully all of this will lead to some better things and hey, maybe even some personal growth. A little nervous that my optimism and time in the cast will resemble an inverse relationship, but who knows? I've been far too negative this year and I think it's cost me more misery than I once thought.

So what I am thankful for today?

2. Turkey Hill Mint Cookie Ice Cream, or should I say scooping out all the cookie pieces while trying to get the least amount of ice cream...kind of similar to "the eating out the marshmallows out of the Lucky Charms box and leaving the cat food part in the box" syndrome. It's a serious affliction, but until there's a "I always eat the good stuff first" support group established, no ice cream with toppings in it or marshmallows are safe....

Day 1: Take a look, it's in a book

1. Getting lost in a good book.

Forgot how nice it is to get lost in a book and read for pleasure. Girl with the Dragon Tattoo: awesome! Made it to the pool to read just in time to get caught in the rain, and hobbled back home just in time for it to stop raining. Gotta love it.

It's time for a new hobby

Last Tuesday afternoon, I found myself smiling for no reason as I sat in front of my computer at work with no particular reason. Aside from the fact that I had finally gotten into, and used to, my morning workout routine, work was gearing up with a lot of new projects, my allergies from hell had seem to let up for a bit, and I had a soccer game later that evening...my favorite weekly workout, I had no particular reason to feel so good. Sitting here on the couch, I realize how bittersweet that moment was, for later on that night, I found myself lying on a soccer field in excruciating pain with the ankle the size of a softball.

But, let's rewind a bit...before I get into that nonsense, as there were events after events that foreshadowed that two-second misstep. First, my boss told me not to play soccer because I'm always getting injured, second, I changed my shirt because I'm superstitious and didn't want to wear the shirt I wore when I injured my knee in January, and the third and final...I accidentally stepped on a another player's ankle and was given a yellow card. Stepping off the field, I commented on his acting, as he was up and moving seconds later.....

Fast forward to the second half of the game and I found my self stretching my foot too far to stop a ball, and seconds later felt a pull in my ankle as i crumbled to the ground, unable to get up. Blah, blah, blah I got carried off the field, driven home and got in a argument with the one person helping me, out of sheer frustration.

Ok, so because I'm pretty impatient, and have no desire to relive the account. I woke up, still unable to walk, and went off to work fully equipped with crutches, a bandage, a brace, an ankle the size of a baby elephant's, and a huge slice of humble pie.

Recounting the story was less than awesome, as can be expected, but the worst part of the day was yet to come. Shock number two was on it's way...

It started off as a conversation with my boyfriend, which somehow quickly spiraled into a talk of future plans, insecurities, annoyances, frustrations and bottled up emotions, therefore ending my night with more than just my ankle fractured.....


The third shock came the next day, when I was told my softball, baby elephant ankle would require surgery, six months on crutches, lots of lovely, costly rehab and months before I could return to playing sports/working out....the one hobby I have, do regularly, and enjoy.


So now, sons two of the things that made me the happiest, I found my world upside down. However, I also found a sense of peace I had never quite experienced before. All the little things I used to worry about suddenly went out the window.

Rather than how I should wear my hair, what to wear, what to do on a Saturday night, who said what, who did what, if I couldn't do a full thirty-minute cardio session....all that mattered was how I was going to shower, how I was going to get anywhere (it was of course my right ankle that was out of comission), how I was going to sleep, how I was going to make lunch, how I was going to carry anything, how I was going to climb the stairs and how I was going to give up the use of my right leg for 6-8 weeks.

It's the little things that I count now, the little victories that make my day. Whether it's getting up and down the stairs without falling, making it to the pool, getting out of the house once a day, or carrying my sandwich to the living room in a plastic container so I don't have to eat standing up in the kitchen.

Now it's the little things that count, and I'm starting off with counting down the days until I can walk again. Each day, I'm going to document the little things, the little things that make me smile, or make each day a little better, and hopefully at the end of this whole ordeal, I'll have more than a good ankle, but a good attitude and outlook as well!